Tantus lullaby

Because there’s only one thing more fun and rewarding than buying a woman lingerie…

Tantus lullaby

♫ I bought her two dildos
One curved, one textured
To give her the O face
Desires all pleasured

Not merely practical
But of intrinsic beauty
Très chic, objet d’art
For her pussy or booty

I got her the Tantus
For slippin’ inside her
‘Cause I’ll never skimp –
When it comes to vagin-er

Both toys coloured purple
Her favourite hue…
… *sigh* …
I know she’ll do unto them
What, to her, I’d love to do ♫

Maybe I should be in advertising?

As a follow up to yesterdays post on limericks and competition entering, I came across this one from Get it On! on facebook.

Get it On! is a community-focused programme designed to create a condom culture across Aotearoa New Zealand….

And who isn’t for a condom culture?

So I entered (the competition, that is) and then this came to mind…

If your lover asks “Are you in the mood?”
And you feel receptive to their attitude
Trans, Bi, Straight or Gay
Try Durex™ PLAY
Cause the answer to all things is “More lube!”

Which goes quite nicely with…

An STI is never a joke
But a hazard when sowing your oats
So if a partner looks risky
Then before getting frisky
Make sure the penis wears a “rain coat”

See, limericks can be more than just dirty rhymes. Not that I’m saying that dirty rhymes don’t have their palce…

On all fours is her favourite position
When she feels like showing some submission
Tug hard at her hair
Slap pink that derriere
And she’ll do any Dom thing you be wishin’

She was always up for any kinky fun
Toys, whips and hot wax on the bum
But when he mooted piss
She said “Not this Miss!”
And went off for a threesome with his Mum

Some men will take advantage of the situation
When their lady-love is going through menstruation
To avoid a messy fuck
They try their damn luck
By requesting oral or anal penetration

But they can also have a social conscience. This one was pretty easy to write after reading the header of Geeky Vamp’s Tumbr blog and I thought it might strike a chord with other female bloggers.

Please don’t send any more pics of your cock
It’s disrespectful and I want you to stop
And if you don’t desist
I’ll get really pissed
And your IP I’ll permanently block

It’s time for some good old fashioned porn

I was chatting on Facebook to a certain someone and as usual, she got me a little worked up. So I wrote this for her. She liked it. *Grin* It didn’t take me long to write as the words and thoughts flowed like… Well, you know what they flowed like. I was in that mind space where all that mattered was my most base emotions. Sometimes I can be sentimental and sometimes I can be amusing, but sometimes it’s all about the sex.

A porny poem for Peaches

She likes to sit atop a cock
Or be taken from the rear.
Slap her arse, squeeze her tits
And then whisper in her ear.

“I’m gonna fuck you hard and fast
till you squirt your girly cum.
Then I’ll give you my thick loads
In your cunt, your mouth and bum.

Come here Peaches, strip for me
And lay your body on this bed.
Spread your legs, your wet pink folds
Because I want to give you head.

I want to taste you in my mouth
To tongue-fuck, suck and lick.
Then move my body over yours
So your throat can take my dick.

I’m gonna pleasure all of you
Painted toe to glossy hair.
Make you moan, scream and yell
Tied, bent over handy chair.

And then the real fun begins,
Hear that knock upon the door?
That’s my friends, and their cocks
Here to treat you as their whore.

We’ll use your body. We won’t stop
Till the hours way past dusk.
Till we’ve sated all desires
All your fantasies and lusts.

With final cum, we’ll all be done
And my friends I’ll bid adieu.
Just you and I, entwined we’ll sleep
So our bodies can renew.

Peaches, did you like the rhyme?
Did all the naughtiness appeal?
I hope so, for on a day quite soon
Maybe we can try all this for real?”

Image via Vintageporn