I confess it’s not a big confess but I confess it anyway.

I was recently told by someone very special that I am a “unique” individual. At the time of making the comment she was doing lots of moaning and groaning so I took her meaning to be of the complementary kind. But what is it that makes me unique? Or maybe a better question is, what is that makes me, me? As this blog has a strong leaning to sex and porn I thought I’d give you a small insight into where I think parts of my present-day sexuality comes from.

Now I could give a big part of it to K.G. (my next door neighbour) who was the first female to let me into her undies and take my cock into her mouth but since this happened before either of us reached ten years of age I put those experiences down to just happy childhood memories and maybe, just maybe, why I have a thing for older women (she’s two months older than me).

No, the two women who had the biggest influence on my burgeoning sexuality would have to be my mother and my old sister…

NOW STOP RIGHT THERE. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND YOU ARE SO FAR OFF THE TRUTH IT ISN’T FUNNY. SO JUST GET THOSE BAD THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

OK, can we continue now?

If you have been following my attempts at epic poetry you’ll be quite familiar with This is (not a) sonnet XXX and the opening stanza of:

Oh porn… How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
Mags, books and VHS. Internet, 3-D and Blu-ray.
Since tiny teen with nary downy-fuzz around my cock
Reading Jackie Collins novels and humping pair of socks.

But originally it read something like this:

Oh porn… How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
Mags, books and VHS. Internet, 3-D and Blu-ray.
Since tiny teen with nary downy-fuzz around my cock
Reading Mum’s romance novels and humping pair of socks.

Yes that’s right. My first introduction to hardcore sex was from Mills & Boon romance novels. You might scoff but these were a sure fire way to read graphic sex scenes and boy did I read a lot. I read enough to know the first sex scene would usually come somewhere between pages 90-110. Sure, I read them for the sex but I did usually finish the whole book so maybe this proves while I am a sex-fiend I’m also a romantic sex-fiend.

Oh now there’s an interesting question. Did the romance novels make me romantic in later years or was I drawn to the romance novels because it was always in me? I also read a lot of historical romance novels back then and I’m a big history buff now so which came first and which influenced which?

I still read today for “Teh Sex.” Sure the language has changed and there are a few more gangbangs but you can’t beat a well written story to stir the mind and loins in a way that no video can.

Now it wasn’t exactly my sister who was the other big influence but her boyfriend. He was the one that supplied me with my first dozen beers, first “I’ll never do that again” hangover and my first glance at hardcore pornography. First there was the videos and in the mid 80’s it was true video of the VHS kind. Now I think the film that started me off was Dracula Erotica but I can’t be sure. What I can be sure of is I remember lying in front of the TV on a big cushion and thinking this is the best thing I’ve ever seen and I’m going to sneak back down after everyone has gone to bed and watch it again. Oh, and I had a constant hard-on all through the movie. Yay for being age fourteen again.

But he didn’t just open my eyes to video but magazines as well. I’m not talking Playboy with its “artistic” and air-brushed models but those magazines where you had actual people doing actual fucking and while they weren’t as life-like as video they were still graphic enough and more importantly portable enough to take to my bedroom for some serious and quality alone-time.

From then on I’m pretty much like every other boy who didn’t have a girlfriend and so had to rely on book, video, magazines and my dominant hand for sexual companionship. I could start a rant about how kids today just don’t know how lucky they are to have porn so available through the internet, but it will just come out jealous and bitter so I’ll leave it there. So thanks Mum and thanks Sis for making me happy and turning out such a well adjusted and romantic sex-fiend.

OK so maybe this isn’t the biggest of insights but you have to start somewhere. :)

Porn in the Library: A moral and ethical dilemma.

I don’t consider myself a prude, maybe slightly submissive with an overtly kinky streak, but certainly not a prude. But a story on AVN had me hunting through the desk draw for my righteous indignation. I couldn’t find it so had to settle for shaking my fist at the screen like Grandpa Simpson and bemoaning “Why won’t someone think of the children.”

It wasn’t about the fertility-friendly lubricant with a name that gives me the willies. Pre-Seed may be an accurate moniker but sounds like something you would only use in a sentence in conjunction with the term “Fertile and fruitful loins.”

No, what got me going was the Los Angeles City Council Committee Tackles Library Porn story.

Committee members are being asked to consider a motion filed Jan. 21 by Los Angeles City Councilman Ed P. Reyes that was inspired in part by an indecent at the city’s Chinatown branch of the public library, during which porn being watched by someone on the library computer was seen by other patrons.

As this is set in the US there is the issue of censorship and first amendment rights which I’m not going to get into. No, I want to bitch about the non-geographical issue of the morality (Shock, Horror) behind it. I use the “M” word because my initial reaction was an emotional one. “This is so very wrong!”  I didn’t have a logical argument as to why but simply felt the line of right and wrong had been crossed. Of course this line is totally subjective and since it’s my rant I get to decide where it’s drawn and what colour crayon to use.

So why so outraged? It can’t be I think books shouldn’t be associated with porn. When growing up where else was I going to find it? Authors: Harold Robbins, Shirley Conran etc. were my go-to people for smut and let’s not forget those publishers of filth Mills & Boon. I’m not kidding! I read enough to know if you wanted the sex scenes then 95% of the time they could be found between pages 95-110. While I truly believe that books are “sacred” (and manifest symbols and depositories of the imagination and knowledge) I don’t think it’s wrong to stick them under the legs of a table to raise it to a precise height so you can stand comfortably while banging away at a chick.

It can’t be I think a library is a sacred place. I remember my brother once telling me he had sex in a church and I thought that was totally cool. I’m not sure if he misplaced his virginity at the same time but I do remember he said, “sex in a church.” Not the sort of thing you’d forget, is it?  So if “sex & church” is OK then why would I be bothered by porn and a library?

It’s not the issue of looking at erotic images in a library either because who hasn’t done that (puts hand up)? If you get a little worked up then you nip to the toilet for a quick tug or diddle and job’s a good’un (quickly lowers hand). I hear having sex in a library is part and parcel of university life (if you believe the stories) but that usually happens hidden away in the stacks and you don’t find under-age kids there.

Maybe it’s simply because I consider watching porn directly associated with masturbation and something to be done in private. Now it would be fine to do in a public space if the public was watching voluntarily and of a legal age. But if they are not then you are forcing your sexuality on others and there are a few nasty words for that sort of thing along with a well deserved criminal record.

So in conclusion, and to make myself perfectly clear, watching porn in a library is wrong and you should not…

Hang on I just realised I’ve been talking about the act and not the person who does it. It must take some real balls or not give a major fuck to view porn where everyone else can see. Although it’s not stated in the article I assumed it was a man. What if I’m wrong and it was a (slightly dominant with an overtly kinky streak) woman. Would that make a difference?

So in conclusion, and to make myself perfectly clear, watching porn in a library is wrong and you should not do it but if you are a woman could I please have your number or email address?