Celebrate good times, cum on!

♫ It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure
Everyone around the world
Come on! ♫

I just want to say “Happy Diwali” to you all. What do I know about the “festival of lights“? Absolutely nothing, except it starts today, runs for five days and it’s observed by Hindus, Jains, Buddhists, Sikhs and Arya Samajists. Thank you, Wikipedia.

Actually I wouldn’t have known it was happening if it wasn’t for a random post on Reddit. But considering how many different types of observances and celebratory days there are for everything and anything imaginable it’s not hard to miss the ones that don’t directly affect you. For me, if it doesn’t involve consuming turkey or cake or chocolate then I’m likely to miss it completely.

Take for example, International Fisting Day which was on October 21st. I don’t know how I missed that after last year’s fun. A shame really because I’m sure it had an amazing cake. But miss it I did and I only became aware I’d missed it after the subject of fisting, metaphorically speaking, raised its well lubricated hand in a conversation I had with a friend today.

I then started thinking about what other “Days” are out there that celebrate a sexual theme? The first to pop into my mind were the obvious Steak & Blow-Job Day and Cake and Cunnilingus Day. But after those two it became more difficult to find others. I did find mention of:

But I really thought there’d be more of them. Maybe I’m not Googling or Binging right but I was sure anal sex, BDSM, and strippers would have their own separate and special day. I should emphasis the word “separate” there because if “anal sex, BDSM, and strippers” were all celebrated on the same day then we’d call that day Christmas… Or would that be XXXmas?

So my question, to you wonderful but obviously strange people who read my rantings, is do you know of any other sex themed days of celebration I can add to my list?

Because we need more poems about fisting

International Fisting Day was always going to get a poem. It was just a matter of waiting for inspiration to get out of bed, have some breakfast, find enough bus money and then come round and visit me. I also felt I owed it to IFD after such a weak post yesterday. I was a little tired and tried being something I’m not ie. witty and clever. So any way here’s my Fisting Day poem.

A lover’s journey to the netherworld

Good causes we’re all for supporting
And a Fisting Day couldn’t be passed.
I’ll admit this adventure seems daunting
Cause it’s gonna be her fist in my arse.

The gloves we had were only size-dainty
And we’d flipped for it, I of course lost.
So I kneel on the bed with arse waiting
While she’s behind tooling-up Like A Boss.

With fingers and toys she starts teasing,
Loosening and lubing along the way.
Till sensations are pleasantly pleasing
And I’m ready to “celebrate” Fisting Day.

To start, one little finger went calling,
Followed by three more and a thumb
And with aid of more lube and much loving,
Guess what? Yes…! I had her fist up my bum.

In wonder I looked over my shoulder
On my face a great look of surprise.
While hers said simply, “I told you so!”
Then starts what the word “fisting” implies.

Her closed little hand starts a pumping.
MOTHER-FUCKER! I’ve got a P-Spot!
My arse on its own starts a humping -
On to her arm giving all that it’s got.

Then love-of-my-life grabs my hard-on
Starts stroking it, oh, something fierce.
Oh fuck! That’s that. I’m only damn human
And I cum so hard it brings me to tears.

I collapse on the bed in spent wonder.
On my arse cheek she gives a soft kiss
With the question, “Did you have fun dear?”
I reply, “Yes, from your fingers to wrist.”

Her hand slowly retracts from my nether’s
With a most obscene and beautiful noise
And reminds me of all our tech wonders
The hand is still King/Queen of sex toys.

So kind gents take this as a testimonial
And to praise it, what more can I say?
Take the journey of lover’s fist going anal
And celebrate, one and all, Fisting Day!

To show that you care put your fist up there

So I’ve just learnt from Harlot Overdrive that today is International #Fisting Day!!. Now, in the fairness of full disclosure I have to admit my primary support for this is purely as a viewer of the fisting genre. I’ve never had the opportunity to go beyond the “finger” stage but like any other sex-positive person I see nothing wrong with consenting adults engaging in actions for the purpose of inducing an orgasm. But I’ll let The Harlot explain what’s going on.

Two of my favourite queer pornstars, Courtney Trouble and Jiz Lee, have had enough of the stringent porn industry ‘guidelines’ that keep fisting from being shown in all its erotic glory, which is undoubtedly offensive to any fist-loving porn viewer, but not necessarily known about by these aforementioned fist-loving porn viewers.

This is why International Fisting Day is such a great initiative, not only is it a call to action, it’s an awareness campaign! Check out the posts by founders Jiz Lee, where she details how censoring fisting is essentially discriminating against queer sex, and Courtney Trouble, who details the actions you can take on her blog (and gives a bangin’ interview over on the San Fran Bay Guardian blog).

So I’m heading over to xHamster to show my support but before I leave you I thought I’d share some random thoughts that popped into my random head while thinking about International Fisting Day and fisting in general.

  • I’d really like to see the cake they’d make on Ace of Cakes to celebrate this day. It brings a whole new meaning to “Up the duff.”
  • International Fisting Day… I wonder if there’s a greeting card for this?
  • If I were a cynical type person I might think the whole thing was a put-up-job by lube manufacturers in the same way florists and makers of “I <3 U” teddies promote Valentine’s Day.
  • Fisting: The perfect solution for men who are happy with the size of their penis and their wives/girlfriends… who aren’t.
  • So I’m just sitting here looking at my fist and that jar of Vaseline going, Hmmm…I wonder…?
  • I’m trying to think up a witty slogan for International Fisting Day. You know, like if it was Doggy-Style Day then “We could all get behind it.”
  • Fisting: Its like dildos for poor people.
  • Fisting is feminist: Its primary purpose is to make a woman cum and when she squirts and cums in someone’s face no one ever minds.
  • …and finally a few other advantages of fisting. You can’t get pregnant from it, if you glove-up properly it cuts down on the risk of STI exposure and for the “Good girls” because no penis went inside you, only a fist, you’re technically still a virgin.

So a happy International Fisting Day to all.

Image via PimpMySpace.org