Can I borrow fifty million dollars?

I had a very productive time in the shower this morning.

I came up with the idea for a story that then turned itself into a movie. It’s not totally original but there’s enough drama and potential for nude scenes to turn it into one of those “made for TV” type films. I don’t have a title for it (suggestions welcome) but we can leave that up to a focus group so as to maximise our appeal across the greatest audience demographic.

If you were wondering. I’m asking for fifty million because I have no idea how much it would cost to produce. Don’t worry, I promise to give back anything I don’t use. Pinky swear!

Huff’s movie: A synopsis.

• A young man with a terminal illness (I don’t know his age or circumstances) meets a young woman in a hospice. She’s just visiting and enters his room by mistake.
• They hit it off and start a whirlwind romance.
• He’s reluctant at first because he’s dying and depressed but she says its all fine and you have to live for the moment.
• Lots of good times ensue eg. Rollercoaster rides, walks along the beach and…

… He’s had a relapse and back in hospital. She comes in and pulls the curtain to hide him from everyone. She never says a word. Puts earphones on him and then to his own personal soundtrack she removes the large coat she is wearing to reveal a Princess Leia, slave-girl costume and proceeds to give him a sexy belly dance before slowly getting on to the bed and crawling up him, never losing eye contact and never saying a word. The scene ends with a shot from outside the curtained-off bed with doctors and nurses walking past totally unaware of what’s going on behind it.

• We then find out (through a fellow patient or nurse who is going through a bad breakup and wants to lash out) that this isn’t her first relationship with someone who is dying. (I think because it’s hot and trendy and totally cliché that she should be bisexual.)
• He in turn becomes standoffish. She does the “What’s wrong?” thing.
• He confronts her.
• We find out that when she was a child her mother died from cancer. The fear of losing her mother turned to anger and so she rejected her and lost those last precious months of life. So now through misplaced guilt she forms relationships with the dying to make up for her perceived sin. She has also cut herself off from the rest of her family and lies about their existence.
• Angry words are spoken culminating in him demanding to know whether she’ll find another dying charity case to “pity fuck” when he’s gone?
• With tears in her eyes she says “Yes.” Not to hurt him but just as an honest answer and to show she is aware of the self-destructive cycle she’s in.
• His fear of dying and now this revelation that he’s just one in a line of dying lovers drives him to have “angry sex” with her. She’s looking up at him crying for herself and because she’s hurt him. He’s angry and demands “Tell me you love me!” with each hard thrust. At the end it comes out more like he’s begging.
• The scene ends with the camera pulling away slowly, to the sound of quiet sobbing and her running her hands up and down his back to comfort him.
• I think at this point in the movie it’s time for a musical montage. We cut back and forth between them apart going about their separate lives.
• We then have a scene where someone gives the young man some wise words. We could use the cliché of the all knowing elderly African-American (Can we afford Morgan Freeman?) or maybe “out of the mouths of babes” wisdom from a terminal child.

Also at this point we have a resolution of an ongoing plot device. Throughout our story, while under the influence of pain medication, our lead thinks he’s being seeing the dark spectre of death who he thinks is coming for him. However any supernatural element is discounted as we reveal that in fact it is merely a elderly nun in her habit who comes in occasionally to visit a fellow hospice patient.

• After the “wise words” he has the realisation that, yes, he is dying and there’s nothing that can be done about that but on the other hand, she isn’t. She helped him and showed him a wonderful world when all he could see was the oncoming darkness of death. She helped him so it’s his turn to help her. He’ll help her break the cycle, move on, find someone to love. Her happiness and life-living will be his ultimate “Fuck You” to death.
• Not sure how that happens yet (there might be another musical montage. How many are you allowed in a movie?) but this part of the story ends with them smiling and hugging as friends.
• The final scene is one of those “Six months later” kind and we open on a commentary. We close-in on the service (which is nicely attended by family and minor cast members we’ve met throughout the story). We see her in black and crying. Next to her is an old man in a wheelchair (let’s give him an oxygen mask to make him look sick). Oh dear! Has she returned to her old ways of finding sick puppies and will this be all her life is? But wait… The dramatic twist is it’s in fact her father who she has reconciled with. I think as a nice ending we should subtly allude to her enrolling to university to obtain some type of degree for the purpose of becoming a grief councillor, so as to help others.
• And roll the credits.

Note: If this becomes a huge box-office success and they decide to do a porn parody, I have an idea for the final scene. In reference to a joke earlier on in the film, about his final wishes, the female lead and her new hot and sexy girlfriend (remember, she is bi-sexual) come back to the cemetery at night and have hot lesbian sex on top of the grave. I have the idea it should be raining so there’s a lot of wet skin (and lightening flashes) but I’m not sure how we can do that and not have a great mess of mud. Fuck it! I’ll let the director sort that one out.

Sorry about all of that but it was a particularly long shower.