Fond memories of porn and… umm… other activities.

I was almost ready to post this little poem when I was informed, via Violet Blue, that Sasha Grey had announced her retirement from porn. So I’d like to dedicate it to Sasha for all her years of wonderful service and for all the joy she’s brought into this world… and which was then discretely wiped away with a tissue. Thank you Sasha.

This is (not a) sonnet XXX

Oh porn… How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
Mags, books and VHS. Internet, 3-D and Blu-ray.
Since tiny teen with nary downy-fuzz around my cock
Reading Jackie Collins novels and humping pair of socks.

Glossy ads for lingerie, coming off (In the Sale)
Playtex: Cross-Your-Heart, utter filth beyond the pale
Back of bus, girly-mags passed through grubby mitts
Eyes a-gog at tits and arse and the pink and hairy bits.

See Linda Lovelace on VHS. Bambi Woods on DVD
Late at night head-phones, so they won’t catch me.
From Golden Age to Gonzo. Annette Haven to Sasha Grey
Countless scenes of horny dreams, viewed all night and day.

Well actually most were at night, when quiet was the house
…And not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Yeah…I watched on December 25th, the holiest of hols
Offed my rocks, waxed my wang and got my Xmas jolls.
And pretty much every other day whenever I felt the need
Turned it on, lubed it up and proudly did the dirty deed.

Now inter-webs made it easier to satisfy all porn desires
For cock or cunt or whatever else stokes your carnal fires
And what of the lucky ones, paid to wank on streaming-cam
I tried once but not much dosh, viewing a fat and ugly man.

Now I’m not into whipping chicks or Bears or Trans or pee
But if every fuckers having fun then you’re alright with me
I’m just a simple man wanting love from a like-minded mate
But till that day I’m watching vids of 12 guys, one girl, one plate.

But whatever your favourite porn is, to which you want to fap
It’s all the same and always ends with some organ leaking sap
Here’s hoping for a big one. May it cause your toes to curl
I wish you all a happy sticky cum, you freaky boyz and gurlz.

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Images courtesy of theft via Google Images. Sorry about that! I only just discovered the Slideshow option (Isn’t WordPress cool?) and went a little crazy.

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