Haiku: 3-pack of panties

This three-pack is lovingly dedicated to a special someone (you know who you are) who sent me a link to a Twitter account that specialises in selling used panties. Not really my thing but it did get my imagination all juiced up.

Lies and truths spoken
Sound the same to your pussy
Sitting on my face

I smell your desire
Through the warmth of your panties
I’m salivating

Old and worn panties
White cotton darkens, dampens
On my eager tongue

There ain’t enough tragic love poems about dildos

Toxic Love

On a shelf sits a dusty dildo
All forgotten and all forlorn
His love (A sweet lass) now much prefers glass
To “Get-Off” when she’s “got the horn”

But once, he was the chosen one
When her urges turned carnal and lusting
In bed, ‘tween her legs, he’d slide his smooth head -
For hours of pleasurable thrusting

He was living the “Happily Ever After” life
As does happen in dildo fairy tales
So then imagine his shock, when other faux cock
Began to arrive in the mail

He was appalled at her promiscuous behaviour
The slattern had no sense of shame
Dallying with Tantus and Vixen and Jollies
So many… She couldn’t recall all their names

He forgave her the vibes and the butt-plugs
Bottling up all the hurt and the slights
But it broke his poor heart when hand-blown glass art -
She started to bed every night

He confronted her and it got quite nasty
A dam burst and out flowed every wrong
He called her a whore, a slut and much more
Yelling, “Why don’t you go fuck a bong?”

And then it REALLY got ugly
‘Cause she could give good as she got
Called him: toxic old jelly, sweaty and smelly,
The worst kind of substitute cock!

And that’s how the Love Story ended
‘Tween a dildo and lusty young lass
Torn asunder by envy… For being porous, too bendy
And the likely chief cause of a rash.